A Sheep in Wolves Clothing! (una pecora in wolve abbigliamento )

Many interesting and enlightening moments have occurred for myself, since I came to terms that I had been involved with an abuser. From the start, when others had said to me that I was being abused, I had difficulty grasping the concept, in understanding how and why this person would be so volatile towards me. When I finally embraced and accepted just how sick my abuser is, I came to understand my role and how I enabled him to continue to be abusive and sick in our relationship. You might say he was the "Sheep in Wolves Clothing." Quick and needy, he is a predator, looking for someone to project and feed his pain. Despite his "band aid" therapy, he certainly is an animal of a different kind and the "feel good" moments will eventually turn awry. He seeks other co-dependent women, and women that have accommodated and tolerated the dishonesty of previous partners. These are the easiest to manipulate, to win their sympathies as "victims" to his circumstances. So, when he "rescues" his next victim from the woes of her past, and she begins to believe his delusions and quickness to fall in love, she will suddenly forget that not so long ago, she had been in a deceptive relationship and has entered another. For the abuser, my abuser, he cannot be without someone to project his pain on. The sheep in wolves clothing has conquered another prey!

Oh, and falling in love, swiftly, quickly is another big clue. Throw the co-dependent a bone, just enough to keep fostering the grooming process.

When I think of the pain I have suffered from allowing myself to be with this abusive man and how it has been so difficult for me to fathom how immensely sick he is, I learned that the level and sophistication of his abuse has become how he has navigated the world. In order to obtain the level of coercion and secrecy he achieved, my abuser mastered his ability to distort reality, control and manipulate. He would use multiple excuses, blame others, become the victim and project feelings he could not manage or tolerate. That deceit and deceptiveness is genuinely who my abuser has become. It is his personality, his character. This is something he learned and most likely in his early childhood through the modeling of his caregivers. The very issues he would complain to me about his mother and sister, were the very behaviors that he did himself. Dysfunction and sickness to the core. Interestingly, my abuser told me he hated his father, that he didn't even talk to him. He said his father was a drug addict and that he left when he was ten years old. Yet, my abuser stated that when he moved from home, he lived with his father and also participated in drug use, side by side, with his father.

This is an example of how the boundaries with his parent were inappropriate and blurred. Yet, when this is all you know, respecting the boundaries that others have for themselves becomes difficult, because that means postponing getting his needs met. My abuser could not tolerate boundaries. So, what may have appeared as my abuser showing consideration and care, insistent at the "coupling" of our relationship, was just manipulating the boundaries from the start. Therefore, when I could not tolerate my abuser overstepping the boundaries, through his inconsideration, disrespect, coercive behavior, belittling, blaming, shaming and hatefulness, my heart burst. My abuser chose the most hurtful and hateful way to show the wolf he really is.

However that pain, that hurtfulness I have found is me being healthy. I could no longer accommodate the dysfunction that my abuser lives in. I could no longer tolerate the schizoid, narcissistic and borderline behavior. I could no longer allow him to continue to place blame and be the victim. I could no longer allow my abuser to project the hurtfulness of his fifty years out on me. So now, I have to be grateful for my heart bursting, because had my heart not burst, I would still be accommodating my abuser and keeping the secrets. The secrets of his pain are as vast as the scar he hides from everyone. The scar on the inside of my abuser is deeper than the gaping scar he hides on his body, hidden under his clothes. There are no more secrets....ABUSE is not a secret!

This is why there is no hope for my abuser. The band aid therapy has settled him for the moment, but once the band aid comes off, and it certainly will, and his deep gaping wounds are exposed once more, the wolf will be revealed. It takes a keen eye and a woman that is willing to value herself enough to avoid being eaten by the wolf, someone to look past the quietness and acknowledge that their intuition is the barometer to trust. This sheep revealed many inappropriate behaviors and personality problems from the start. Your intuition will tell you that this is NOT a sheep. Kudos to the gal that would foster her own sickness to be with this abuser!! Had I trusted my intuition, I would have saved myself the pain of being tortured by a wolf. However, I have learned that if I didn't feel this pain, I would have been "that gal" accommodating my abuser.

Attenzione! "Una pecora in wolve abbigliamento !!"


Broken Hearts
"Relationships while linear are volatile and sometimes disappointing.
This imbalance of energy can leave the individual who gives too much energy a sense of incompleteness that is devastating.
It is important to understand the "energy" involved in every relationship and how balance is the key to it all.

"Like always attracts like". If you are involved with another who wounds your heart the most important thing to do is to revive your own personal energy. The more broken your heart the more you may attract negativity. This is not to say that the other individual bears no responsibility. It merely suggests that the value of your worth is determined by yourself.

To allow another to diminish that may be acceptable once if you are seeking experience.
However, to allow such energy exchanges to continue reflects upon the opinion you have of your energy.
In most cases it is highly doubtful that the other energy involved will change it's pattern. It is up to you to examine and realign your own [energy] .
Consider that the relationship may have been created by your higher self for just that reason... to know your worth and to discover your own potential.

A broken heart mends if the proper attention is delivered by the self to the self.

--VERONICA

www.InnerWhispers.net

The Truth is the only path to any success you wish to manifest. It is never a positive moment to be lying to others whether it bothers your linear conscience or not.

There is damage to the soul while participating in something that is untrue.

--VERONICA