YOU are reading THIS for a REASON!
Remember, if you are reading this message it was brought to you for a reason.
Maybe you are still in the honeymoon phase, and you probably think that this is not YOU! Like all of us, most certainly, you have said these words that "I wish I would have listened to..." Well now is the opportunity to set aside your ego and recognize that if you have been blessed with even semi-average intellectual capacity, you will use that intellect and read further. One thing is for sure, sooner or later you will realize that madness is just madness, and HIS distorted perceptions and cognition are nothing other than madness ....and with madness, there is NO rationalization or reasoning. It is only you, and your need to make excuses for his madness, so you compromise yourself, grasping for a valid rationalization to validate his distorted perceptions and cognition, "his reasoning". It is only you and your hope that what you believed in was real, authentic and true. It is only YOU trying to believe that he loves you. However, the reality is there isn't anything real, authentic and true. What you've been coerced to believe is part of the madness he creates, so no matter what his "reasoning" is, you will find a way to validate it, even if it means abandoning yourself to do that. This is what he seeks, the power and control, so eventually, you will question whether it is YOUR madness, until you've taken on the burden of what is really HIS madness, HIS drama and chaos. It is abuse.
Read this carefully... regardless of your pessimism, as this is probably the ONLY outreach you will have from someone that has been where YOU are. Hopefully you will be smart enough to digest what I have written, not to be offensive to you, but with intent to let you know that what you most likely are experiencing is what it is. LISTEN to your voice, that alarm inside that says there is something VERY wrong... and stop trying to rationalize what is irrational, what is ABNORMAL! I would be completely aghast if you were so blind, so ignorant, that you would rather be in denial, than to admit you understand this message.
Most often, abusers, YOUR abuser will isolate their victims. Initially, YOUR abuser will show great attention, concern for meeting your family and promise you everything you desire. However, you will not notice, not initially, but soon you will be separated from your family and exposed less to his family members. This is to protect himself from his family knowing the truth, as he has controlled and weaved them into his dysfunction. He will accuse YOU of wanting to control (more of his projection) and degrade you in the process, saying things like "it seems like you are keeping me from my family," yet you are the one that has begged for his support all along. He will be thoughtless about your own child(ren), even when you have tried to be conscientious and considerate of providing your support and acknowledgment of his. He will create more and more isolation for you, as he sucks your energy, your good will, your achievements, until he has drained whatever he can from you. Then, because he "says" that "he loves you more than anyone," he will continue to blur the boundaries and do whatever he can, until you burst.
At that moment, when he has hurt you so deeply that you can no longer tolerate the abuse and burst, he will negate all accountability and responsibility to you or your relationship and manipulate what he has done to you, your child(ren) or your family as YOUR fault. HIS HURTFUL BEHAVIOR is NOT YOUR FAULT! He is an abuser.
So, when he abandons the relationship, without conscience, remorse, care, kindness or consideration, you will learn that this is just more of his pathological behavior. Behavior of someone sick. This is abuse. YOUR man is an abuser. He has no friends, no one. All he has is his family, and they have been deluded, as one would behave when part of a cult. It all appears normal and will continue to feel normal.
When you no longer are able to tolerate the dysfunction, chaos, drama and abuse, you become the object, the target that he projects his anger, hatefulness, and unresolved childhood pain. Unable to chance the possibility of being exposed and compromise his role of being a victim, he will purge all his hatefulness further on you, trying to use his "band aid" therapy dialogue to project his issues onto you. He will even go so far as to threaten you. This is pathological, behavior from someone that said they loved you.
No conscience, no accountability or responsibility to the damage they caused, these are traits of a sociopath. Insight into himself is non existent, and instead of doing the deep therapeutic work that needs to be done, he barely touches the surface, using "band aid" therapy to settle the chaos he has caused and again, desperately maintains his role as victim. After the chaos settles, most certainly, he will pursue to engage in his dysfunction again. The pattern will continue, needing to find "someone," "anyone," as the object, so he is quick to resume another relationship. Most certainly, when you are pushed off your pedestal, and when he is finished using you to fulfill his narcissistic needs, you will realize you have been exploited and brought to your knees by a man that "said" they loved you, in order to feel better about himself. All the while, you are in disbelief, as this is the man you have given your life to, your future.
So, when he moves on, like he has, know that whatever lies you have begun to believe, whatever VICTIM he has become and whatever question in your mind that gives you an OUNCE of ambivalence, is the key to all his despair and dysfunction. No doubt, he has made some logical excuse to affirm his quick connection to you, but because you are not thinking and have been deluded by his distortions, you have not noticed or thought about how a kind, caring and empathetic person would have difficulty with such quick commitment. YOU have been groomed into his cycle.
Deluded to believe in a man that does not exist, by a man that cannot tolerate emotions or intimacy and is unable to be empathic to the feelings of another human being. If he had an ounce of empathy, he would have the ability to delay his own needs, in order to honor the people he "said" he loves. Instead of sneaking across the street to have sex with the sixty year old neighbor, three months after his wife died, he would have supported his son, instead of leaving him home alone. He would have put his own needs aside and supported my work towards reaching a career milestone, instead of pressuring me to purchase a new home and move.
Accusing ME of bringing my past into the relationship (more of his projection), I learned later that he was desperate for any excuse to not be accountable or acknowledge the abuse he inflicted upon me. I have worked diligently with professionals for almost two years to work through the mess he brought into my life. I am also a professional that educates other therapists. Yet, because he is so pathological, he has fooled many many people over the years, including me, his family and most likely his own therapist.
You will make the choice whether to become an enabler and fit into the larger dynamic among others who choose to be in denial and continue to foster more stupidity and dysfunction. You can be watchful, keep yourself safe, trust your instincts, refrain from excusing socially "retarded" behavior, cognitive distortions and refuse to keep taking the blame for the feelings projected on to you. Or... with your fiercely loyal convictions and determination, you can believe every word that falls from his blubbering coercive lips and see where you fall... and unbeknownst to you, that HUGE risk will likely lead to history repeating itself. Understandably, at this point, you are threaded into his world and still remain "fierce" to be "loyal" through and through.
That also means that you have accepted your "less than respected" place, even though you may aggressively deny your lower status among the inappropriate enmeshed family system. However, you will remain loyal to merrily play along and be an active contributor to the dysfunction. Even better, if recruited by a family member, you've unknowingly continued to perpetuate the inappropriate enmeshed relationships with an incestuous flavor, as you are the "special offering." A mother, sister or daughter cannot choose themselves. Lucky you, once removed...
Now, here is a HUGE clue: First, if you are a "special offering," you've already consented to be the pawn for someone else, the convenience for him, and have already abandoned yourself. Second, is your man so socially retarded that he is unable to find a date on his own or is he just too damn lazy to do the work? Third, let me guess.... he said that he wanted to meet someone the family knew because the last relationship was a disaster (CLUE: he cannot function outside the dysfunction).
I too, just as you will, fell into the abyss of his destruction. For almost TWO years, with the help of other survivors and professionals, I have had to work through and recover from the web of chaos and destruction brought into my life. I am hoping that you will read this message long enough and stifle any aloofness from thinking this could never be YOU! Believe me, I thought that too.
However, you are more fortunate than I was. Had someone attempted to reach out to me with concern for my well being, I may have listened just long enough to have been more mindful. I may have seen how I was isolated from people looking out for my welfare and not ignored attempts to reach me. No matter how well meaning, grateful, generous, hard working, and committed you are to nurturing your relationship, so certain that you will never come across a compromise too great, you MUST be cautious, for your life will ultimately depend upon it.
Trying to focus on the good, the positive, I felt it essential to express gratitude, even when my abuser, was throwing me a bone, just like the bone you're now consenting to chew on. Then, one day I woke up and found that after the "honeymoon," there was nothing but shit flung in my face. That behavior is NOT something that a fiancé would do, behavior of someone that says they love you. That is someone angry, hurtful and sick. To survive in that, you too, will have to be sick.
With that, you will undoubtedly, without question, subject yourself to the same anguish you had felt once before. Perhaps that comes easily for you, rather than honoring yourself, your body, your intelligence, your gifts, you'd rather accept. There is no great achievement for being a martyr, for accepting the hurtfulness of your abuser, yet you've embraced it as you did once before.
Only this time, the degree of that anguish is ten fold. The previous was blatant, and this is a venomous, slow, creeping snake that will bring you into his abyss of emotional terror, and all the while, you will believe there is something wrong with you. You will continue to believe it is you, because after all, he loves you. Moreover, you are fiercely loyal.
It is him. He does not know how sick he is, because that is who he is, it is his personality. Remember, he does not live in the world, and you now belong to his world.
If you are a genuine honest person, do not think that for one moment any caring, compassion or kindness you embody will prevent you from this master. You are the perfect prey, because no matter what, you are more loyal to him than you are to yourself. In addition, if you have any assets, you're an even better candidate, so be watchful with his eagerness to move forward.
From this moment forward, you are a volunteer and will not be a victim because you have been well informed. The choice to volunteer is yours, keeping in mind that once again, you may repeat these words; "I wish I would have listened to...."
Read this carefully... regardless of your pessimism, as this is probably the ONLY outreach you will have from someone that has been where YOU are. Hopefully you will be smart enough to digest what I have written, not to be offensive to you, but with intent to let you know that what you most likely are experiencing is what it is. LISTEN to your voice, that alarm inside that says there is something VERY wrong... and stop trying to rationalize what is irrational, what is ABNORMAL! I would be completely aghast if you were so blind, so ignorant, that you would rather be in denial, than to admit you understand this message.
Most often, abusers, YOUR abuser will isolate their victims. Initially, YOUR abuser will show great attention, concern for meeting your family and promise you everything you desire. However, you will not notice, not initially, but soon you will be separated from your family and exposed less to his family members. This is to protect himself from his family knowing the truth, as he has controlled and weaved them into his dysfunction. He will accuse YOU of wanting to control (more of his projection) and degrade you in the process, saying things like "it seems like you are keeping me from my family," yet you are the one that has begged for his support all along. He will be thoughtless about your own child(ren), even when you have tried to be conscientious and considerate of providing your support and acknowledgment of his. He will create more and more isolation for you, as he sucks your energy, your good will, your achievements, until he has drained whatever he can from you. Then, because he "says" that "he loves you more than anyone," he will continue to blur the boundaries and do whatever he can, until you burst.
At that moment, when he has hurt you so deeply that you can no longer tolerate the abuse and burst, he will negate all accountability and responsibility to you or your relationship and manipulate what he has done to you, your child(ren) or your family as YOUR fault. HIS HURTFUL BEHAVIOR is NOT YOUR FAULT! He is an abuser.
So, when he abandons the relationship, without conscience, remorse, care, kindness or consideration, you will learn that this is just more of his pathological behavior. Behavior of someone sick. This is abuse. YOUR man is an abuser. He has no friends, no one. All he has is his family, and they have been deluded, as one would behave when part of a cult. It all appears normal and will continue to feel normal.
When you no longer are able to tolerate the dysfunction, chaos, drama and abuse, you become the object, the target that he projects his anger, hatefulness, and unresolved childhood pain. Unable to chance the possibility of being exposed and compromise his role of being a victim, he will purge all his hatefulness further on you, trying to use his "band aid" therapy dialogue to project his issues onto you. He will even go so far as to threaten you. This is pathological, behavior from someone that said they loved you.
No conscience, no accountability or responsibility to the damage they caused, these are traits of a sociopath. Insight into himself is non existent, and instead of doing the deep therapeutic work that needs to be done, he barely touches the surface, using "band aid" therapy to settle the chaos he has caused and again, desperately maintains his role as victim. After the chaos settles, most certainly, he will pursue to engage in his dysfunction again. The pattern will continue, needing to find "someone," "anyone," as the object, so he is quick to resume another relationship. Most certainly, when you are pushed off your pedestal, and when he is finished using you to fulfill his narcissistic needs, you will realize you have been exploited and brought to your knees by a man that "said" they loved you, in order to feel better about himself. All the while, you are in disbelief, as this is the man you have given your life to, your future.
So, when he moves on, like he has, know that whatever lies you have begun to believe, whatever VICTIM he has become and whatever question in your mind that gives you an OUNCE of ambivalence, is the key to all his despair and dysfunction. No doubt, he has made some logical excuse to affirm his quick connection to you, but because you are not thinking and have been deluded by his distortions, you have not noticed or thought about how a kind, caring and empathetic person would have difficulty with such quick commitment. YOU have been groomed into his cycle.
Deluded to believe in a man that does not exist, by a man that cannot tolerate emotions or intimacy and is unable to be empathic to the feelings of another human being. If he had an ounce of empathy, he would have the ability to delay his own needs, in order to honor the people he "said" he loves. Instead of sneaking across the street to have sex with the sixty year old neighbor, three months after his wife died, he would have supported his son, instead of leaving him home alone. He would have put his own needs aside and supported my work towards reaching a career milestone, instead of pressuring me to purchase a new home and move.
Accusing ME of bringing my past into the relationship (more of his projection), I learned later that he was desperate for any excuse to not be accountable or acknowledge the abuse he inflicted upon me. I have worked diligently with professionals for almost two years to work through the mess he brought into my life. I am also a professional that educates other therapists. Yet, because he is so pathological, he has fooled many many people over the years, including me, his family and most likely his own therapist.
You will make the choice whether to become an enabler and fit into the larger dynamic among others who choose to be in denial and continue to foster more stupidity and dysfunction. You can be watchful, keep yourself safe, trust your instincts, refrain from excusing socially "retarded" behavior, cognitive distortions and refuse to keep taking the blame for the feelings projected on to you. Or... with your fiercely loyal convictions and determination, you can believe every word that falls from his blubbering coercive lips and see where you fall... and unbeknownst to you, that HUGE risk will likely lead to history repeating itself. Understandably, at this point, you are threaded into his world and still remain "fierce" to be "loyal" through and through.
That also means that you have accepted your "less than respected" place, even though you may aggressively deny your lower status among the inappropriate enmeshed family system. However, you will remain loyal to merrily play along and be an active contributor to the dysfunction. Even better, if recruited by a family member, you've unknowingly continued to perpetuate the inappropriate enmeshed relationships with an incestuous flavor, as you are the "special offering." A mother, sister or daughter cannot choose themselves. Lucky you, once removed...
Now, here is a HUGE clue: First, if you are a "special offering," you've already consented to be the pawn for someone else, the convenience for him, and have already abandoned yourself. Second, is your man so socially retarded that he is unable to find a date on his own or is he just too damn lazy to do the work? Third, let me guess.... he said that he wanted to meet someone the family knew because the last relationship was a disaster (CLUE: he cannot function outside the dysfunction).
I too, just as you will, fell into the abyss of his destruction. For almost TWO years, with the help of other survivors and professionals, I have had to work through and recover from the web of chaos and destruction brought into my life. I am hoping that you will read this message long enough and stifle any aloofness from thinking this could never be YOU! Believe me, I thought that too.
However, you are more fortunate than I was. Had someone attempted to reach out to me with concern for my well being, I may have listened just long enough to have been more mindful. I may have seen how I was isolated from people looking out for my welfare and not ignored attempts to reach me. No matter how well meaning, grateful, generous, hard working, and committed you are to nurturing your relationship, so certain that you will never come across a compromise too great, you MUST be cautious, for your life will ultimately depend upon it.
Trying to focus on the good, the positive, I felt it essential to express gratitude, even when my abuser, was throwing me a bone, just like the bone you're now consenting to chew on. Then, one day I woke up and found that after the "honeymoon," there was nothing but shit flung in my face. That behavior is NOT something that a fiancé would do, behavior of someone that says they love you. That is someone angry, hurtful and sick. To survive in that, you too, will have to be sick.
With that, you will undoubtedly, without question, subject yourself to the same anguish you had felt once before. Perhaps that comes easily for you, rather than honoring yourself, your body, your intelligence, your gifts, you'd rather accept. There is no great achievement for being a martyr, for accepting the hurtfulness of your abuser, yet you've embraced it as you did once before.
Only this time, the degree of that anguish is ten fold. The previous was blatant, and this is a venomous, slow, creeping snake that will bring you into his abyss of emotional terror, and all the while, you will believe there is something wrong with you. You will continue to believe it is you, because after all, he loves you. Moreover, you are fiercely loyal.
It is him. He does not know how sick he is, because that is who he is, it is his personality. Remember, he does not live in the world, and you now belong to his world.
If you are a genuine honest person, do not think that for one moment any caring, compassion or kindness you embody will prevent you from this master. You are the perfect prey, because no matter what, you are more loyal to him than you are to yourself. In addition, if you have any assets, you're an even better candidate, so be watchful with his eagerness to move forward.
From this moment forward, you are a volunteer and will not be a victim because you have been well informed. The choice to volunteer is yours, keeping in mind that once again, you may repeat these words; "I wish I would have listened to...."
I beg you, don’t be stupid!
Protect yourself. You may not see or believe it now, but you will be thankful that you chose to be safe, rather than sorry. Ask yourself this question; do I really know this man well enough NOT to error on the side of caution? Of course you will say YES! I did!
I had NO DOUBT, I trusted him with EVERYTHING in my LIFE and truly believed that he was who he said he was. Ultimately, his behavior never matched his words and I suffered for it. I too, was fiercely loyal.
This means that you MUST protect yourself from his self seeking behavior. Demand he wears condoms! NO oral sex! ……and DO NOT open your wallet for anything! Take measures to protect your assets at all costs! If this man or any man really honors, respects and cares for you in the fullest sense of the word to tell you that he LOVES you, he will honor EVERY request you bring forth. Relationships are difficult, hard work. If your man, the man that wants to “do better, be better” is telling you that he LOVES you and is genuinely forsaking all others and is truthful to his word, he will be ready and willing to do the actual honest hard work and respect and honor ALL of the limits and boundaries you demand to protect yourself from harm.
He repeatedly blurs the boundaries because he cannot tolerate you limits and therefore, he becomes the perpetual victim in every situation. Every failed relationship, every situation gone wrong, he is ALWAYS the victim and never bears responsibility for his behavior. Don't be surprised if YOU become accountable for every hurtful thing HE does to everyone and to you! Since he is an abuser, he cannot be a "stand up MAN," and be accountable or confronted. Unbelievable and disgusting, my abuser even threatened me, the person he said he "loved more than anyone." PATHETIC cannot even describe or justify that behavior. No ONE has an entitlement to the gifts YOU bring to the world.
If you are compromising yourself one iota, and you think that this is NOT YOU, then you are definitely in harms way. Think about the last relationship you had. Did you have the wool pulled over your eyes then? Was it because you were kind, compassionate, caring?
Do NOT be so ignorant to think that you have chosen differently this time. There is a reason this may “feel” good to you. Do not compromise yourself, as you may end up suffering serious repercussions needlessly. If I’ve written anything at all that makes any sense, I pray that this is the message you will hear the most. If you knew what happened to me, every bit of it, the health risks I face, the financial stress, perhaps you will protect yourself, instead of fostering more stupidity.
I had NO DOUBT, I trusted him with EVERYTHING in my LIFE and truly believed that he was who he said he was. Ultimately, his behavior never matched his words and I suffered for it. I too, was fiercely loyal.
This means that you MUST protect yourself from his self seeking behavior. Demand he wears condoms! NO oral sex! ……and DO NOT open your wallet for anything! Take measures to protect your assets at all costs! If this man or any man really honors, respects and cares for you in the fullest sense of the word to tell you that he LOVES you, he will honor EVERY request you bring forth. Relationships are difficult, hard work. If your man, the man that wants to “do better, be better” is telling you that he LOVES you and is genuinely forsaking all others and is truthful to his word, he will be ready and willing to do the actual honest hard work and respect and honor ALL of the limits and boundaries you demand to protect yourself from harm.
He repeatedly blurs the boundaries because he cannot tolerate you limits and therefore, he becomes the perpetual victim in every situation. Every failed relationship, every situation gone wrong, he is ALWAYS the victim and never bears responsibility for his behavior. Don't be surprised if YOU become accountable for every hurtful thing HE does to everyone and to you! Since he is an abuser, he cannot be a "stand up MAN," and be accountable or confronted. Unbelievable and disgusting, my abuser even threatened me, the person he said he "loved more than anyone." PATHETIC cannot even describe or justify that behavior. No ONE has an entitlement to the gifts YOU bring to the world.
If you are compromising yourself one iota, and you think that this is NOT YOU, then you are definitely in harms way. Think about the last relationship you had. Did you have the wool pulled over your eyes then? Was it because you were kind, compassionate, caring?
Do NOT be so ignorant to think that you have chosen differently this time. There is a reason this may “feel” good to you. Do not compromise yourself, as you may end up suffering serious repercussions needlessly. If I’ve written anything at all that makes any sense, I pray that this is the message you will hear the most. If you knew what happened to me, every bit of it, the health risks I face, the financial stress, perhaps you will protect yourself, instead of fostering more stupidity.
May you be safe and free from all danger and harm.
Hurricane Bill Projected Path - Watch Closely!!
The first tropical storm of the Atlantic season has hit the north-eastern Caribbean and the Florida Panhandle with gale-force winds and driving rain.
Certainly, if you follow too close, you're likely to be left with some major damage from this horrifically abusive storm. After Hurricane Bill, you'll be blessed just to get away alive.
Although Tropical Storm Claudette weakened as it hit land, strong gusts of wind continued to batter
Hurricane Bill, which is currently producing tropical winds extending out 200 miles, is expected to become a major storm in the next couple of days, although it is not expected to hit
Hurricane Bill projected path speculation is rising now that Hurricane Bill has become a serious storm. The projected path of Hurricane Bill is the first one of serious interest in the Atlantic hurricane season.
Hurricane Bill Projected Path Watched Closely in the
The Hurricane Bill projected path still gives the storm a few days to become a real, threatening hurricane. It remains 1100 miles east of the
Hurricane Bill is projected to become a major hurricane by Wednesday, as it begins to get closer to land. The first land to be threatened could be the
However, other predictions have Hurricane Bill's projected path missing land altogether. Though Hurricane Bill may increase in strength over the next few days, there is still a good chance that it may not make landfall. The biggest damage to the shores may come from high tides created by the remains of Hurricane Bill.
The Hurricane Bill projected path is still being watched closely, in case the best case scenarios are wrong and it does hit land. It is part of a massive new string of hurricane watching, as Tropical Storm Ana begins to die down, Tropical Storm Claudette reaches
This August 16 NOAA satellite image shows Tropical Storms Ana (centre) and Bill (right). Tropical Storm Claudette hit
This National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) satellite handout image shows Hurricane Bill soon after undergoing an eyewall replacement cycle. Hurricane Bill, a Category 2 storm that is the first of the Atlantic storm season, continued to strengthen Tuesday with wind speeds hitting 110 miles per hour (175 kilometers per hour), weather forecasters said.
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One Response to “Bill now a major hurricane” August 18th, 2009 at
- Pat A. Says:
I don’t think anyone living along the EC should let there guard down. I know the models can be somewhat accurate. But I have seen Hur
ricane miss troughs, currents ect.. Bill is a powerful Hurricane, which should not be taken lightly. I believe two troughs has to come in to play when it comes to Bill being steered out to sea. So we need to see what the end of this week holds.
Certainly, if you follow too close, you're likely to be left with some major damage from this horrifically abusive storm. After Hurricane Bill, you'll be blessed just to get away alive.
COME AND VISIT FREQUENTLY! COMING UP NEXT :
Five Reasons to Stay With the Person You Love…
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